You Have My Attention

I just kinda realized, I've been ignoring the people around me. I always pride myself on being able to peg everyone's personality and such but I can't even keep a hold of the friends I already have. Well... I do... I keep hold of them but I don't keep track of them.

Here's what made me realize this. A friend of mine, her engagement is on the rocks. Okay, so I've never met him and every time she mentions him I roll my eyes because she seems to constantly mention him (no offense) but she's happy. I mean really what more can I ask for but that she's happy.

I don't know how to tell my friend Elimy that she should just give up on the guy who keeps breaking her heart. I mean, when they're together she goes between happy and in hell but when they're apart she's in hell for a little bit but after a month realizes it was for the better and starts to be really happy and then he talks to her and her life seems to go to hell off and on again.

This leads me to my friends Karlie and Lynn. I consider them both my best friends and yet every time I talk to them I feel like I'm learning a bunch of new things even if it's only been for like, a week.

I was reading Karlie's blog and that's what made me realize it. It made me think about how much I really have been missing all this time. The worst part is it's not even because I've been ignoring them for internet or TV or random stuff like that. It's been because I haven't been able to get outside myself for long enough to pay attention.

With Lynn it just feels like she hasn't been telling me things. Like she's been trying to hide things from me and I can't help but feel bad that I don't know what they are.

I think going back to my old school will help. I think everything will get better. At this school I have nearly no motivation. Along with that I should probably go start my math homework. Ah well, see ya.

"It happened again,
You're afraid to open up or just give in
'Cause someone's gonna hurt you
Like you've been in the past
Heal the wounds, be broken glass,
Now you're jaded but please don't fade away" -- Artist vs. Poet "Giving Yourself Away"

Emotion

Emotion is something that can over-take us against our will. When it all comes down to it do we ever really fight the emotion that threatens to overwhelm us? Or do we just sit there pushing lightly against the door that holds us inside our minds?

I look around quite a few times a day and have gotten quite good at reading emotions for different people. I don't know how but it seems to be helpful when it comes to schooling.

I'll be on Facebook or MySpace and read the different things of couples that have just gotten together a week before that are my age and in some cases younger than me (14-17).

Half the time their status will be "I love him" or "I love you [insert name here]".

There's nothing wrong with this I mean come on, think about it. GREAT! They're in love! But what really makes me question the ranges of emotions is when they've been 'dating' for a week or maybe two.

How do we know what love is when there are so many variations of it?

Hate is such a strong word. How do we know when we hate? When we look at someone and immediately want to throw up or leave the room? But in many books isn't that glorified as a form of love? We love them so much we can hardly stand to be around them? We are so nervous we want to throw up?

So how can we really tell the difference between two of the strongest emotions on this planet when both of the descriptions can be glorified for the other? Can we stop it? Can we truly tell everything apart or are we subjected to be slaves of our emotions for our whole life?

People say think with your head not your heart. While others say think with your heart not your head.

But the only way we can think something with our head is if it passes through our emotions first and we can't act on what we decide with our heart without using our head to go through it.

I'm not against love. Being caught in a whirlwind of emotion myself at this moment. I am not against love and I am not against hate. I am just wondering if we ever get to know if we actaully love them.

I know I smile when I even think about talking to one certain person and I smirk when thinking about talking to my best friends. My stomach feels heavy when I think about talking to someone else. I feel nothing when talking to someone else.

We claim to know love... we claim to know hate... what if the only difference between the feelings of love and hate is that if we feel an emotion like love we smile and when we feel hate we grow angry or annoyed?

"Hello you
How was the rest?
You made it through
But nevertheless
I got you, out on a wire
You be love and I’ll be a liar" -- Lights and Sounds by Yellowcard

Perfection

The definition of perfection is "excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement" as well as "accurate, exact, or correct in every detail".


Truly is there a thing such as perfection? Can one be correct in every detail?


As far as we know there is truly no way to create or gain perfection, so why do we go under the pretense of perfection?


Can anyone explain just why we must put up the pretense of perfection? Is it simply because we, as humans, are too afraid to admit our faults and keep the pretense of a person we are not alive?


I have heard two great answers so far:

"It's insecurity, plain and simple. Some people are so sure they have nothing to offer the world, that they have to act a certain way to feel important or to get noticed."

and another: "Isn't it stupid, yet entertaining to witness? They cannot be perfect, yet they are too blind to see their imperfection in attempting perfection. Character is everything and that is what they lack; therefore, they have nothing. They are not only imperfect, they are also empty... A human shell filled with ego."

So over-all, "Why do we strive for what is not possible?"

"It's scratchin on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake, and I can't control it" Skillet- "Monster"

Hacked/Old supposed to be dead phones/Family that doesn't know your name/Forced Engagments

Sooooooo... my e-mail was hacked...again. I still don't know who but they sent one of my drafts...which sucks immensely and deleted a bunch of e-mails...unsubscribed me from a bunch of stuff. Which also sucks.


But on a good note! A few months ago I had to jump in the pool to save my dog and my phone happened to be in my pocket (My dog was fine). As you can probably guess it(the phone) was ruined. So I had to get a new one. Well that one isn't charging anymore and my mom got all these phones off of e-bay a while ago. So I'm all looking through the phones and I see my waterlogged phone and am all "Oh Hey! let me try this one again."

It worked.

I'm sooooo happy. It takes the best pictures in the world and actually updates on the computer. So I'm happy about that.


On another, more annoying note.
I was helping my fake Grandma take care of her grand nieces and nephew and like they didn't listen.

At All.

And she had errands to run so I was basically in control of them. The one I had known for 5 minutes knew my name...the one I knew for his whole life? Nothing.

Not a name not a word.
I was "Their cousins friend." So I looked at them all like.

"How Old are you again?"
"10."
"Yeah I've known you your whole life and you don't remember my name. I'm sorry but that's sad."

I never got a response.


Now on a funny note!
My best friend and I were told we're going to get married. Again. By two different people. We were also told what we'd name our children.

All I can say is it sparked and interesting conversation about how we're never gonna get married, wouldn't name our kids that, and he promised I'd be his future kids Godmother! Yay for looking too far into the future for our age! :D

That's mah day. Interesting no?

"Finally I can hold the key but the clock is still ticking, clock is still ticking" Eyes Set To Kill "The World Outside"

Life...

I have none. Is that even right grammer? Would it work if I said "no"? Life...I have no. Nope that doesn't work...I think it's right...Anyway.
Have you ever had those times when you're waiting for a "THUMP" and it comes and you jump even though you're waiting for it? Yeah...there was no point to that...
Oh! so I'm gonna write a comedy with my friend Karlie! Okay...so we're PLANNING on writing a comedy. It might happen. I really want it to. It sounds like fun doesn't it? I was gonna make characters but they have no names. Right now they're going by "Guy" and "Person." Yeah...still no point to that.
There's no point to this except I want to post a blog...that probably no one will read. Haha yay.
Hmmm...There's still no point to this...
The only point is to blog.
I need to think of something. I really need to think of something. I can't just blog whenever I want to.
Well I could but it would probably be a bad idea...
Or would it?
Oh well...I'm done with this.
Bye all!
Wait I need a song quote! um OH! I like this one
"At any minute this could all collapse, and I could come back down
But I'm living in the moment...
I'll savor it for NOW!" Heights-Eyes Set To Kill

The Name Brenden

So me and one of my friends were playing on ANOTHER friends Wii Fit because we don't have one. :D Classy eh? And you can choose a "Guest Character" We chose Guest 3.
Yes, I am lame enough to remember the number of the guest we played as.

Q: Why guest 3?
A: We LOVED his hair. It had the best hair of any of them.

So we have been playing as "Guest 3" for a while when I decided, "He needs a name what should we name him?"
"Brandon!"
"Aw but there's so many people named Brandon...OH! BRENDEN!"

Now there was no other reason for us to love this name.
Not Brandon.
Not Brandan.
Not Brendan.
Not Brendon.
BrEndEn.

Now I'm curious.
Q: What does it mean?
A: It means "Prince" apparently. (I just looked it up) It's Irish, Gaelic, Celtic.

So assuming people actually read this.

What name do you like the most? Do you know what it means?

I mean, like, I just looked up what Brenden meant. So there's truly no other reason to this post then to obssess over the name Brenden. It's a cool name!

...Yeah, that's all there is to say.
"There's nothing else I can say Eh Eh (eh eh) All I can say is eh eh."
Now there's a song stuck in my head. HEY I can sign off like that.
"Eh eh"